Lilah

I used to see parents with their children out in public. And when the children would be wildly out of control, I would look at the parent with a small smile. But in my head, I was thinking,"Get a hold of your children dude." I was so glad that I had my four-year college degree in elementary education with lots of child psychology and early childhoo... d courses that helped to fill my head with useful knowledge. I was so glad that I was going to be a good parent and that embarrassing situation would never happen to me. Fast forward a few years... and now with two kids-- ages three and one. Parenting is hard. Mothering is hard. It's the farthest thing from simple. And it dawns on you at some point, that children come with personalities. No joke. And then they get some bad parts of you and you have to be reminded of those parts 'every.single.day.' And let me reassure you that my children have been those above mentioned children way more than I would have liked. And I just want to tell that small-smile girl, "Honey, you have no freakin' idea." There is so much I didn't understand about parenting before I became a parent. I think it can be be summed up like this. Before children, I lived this life where I saw the rainbow in ROYGBIV. A little sun, a light sprinkle. It was neat. I liked it. After having children, that rainbow turned brilliant. I saw hundreds of colors like aubergine, periwinkle and mint. But it meant for much more extreme weather... unbelievably sunny days and downright nasty storms. And you love that rainbow more than you ever thought possible. You couldn't go a day without it. Even when it means enduring the storms. This summer has been kind of a whirlwind for me. It started as an over-scheduled, spreading-myself-too-thin Spring that led to a stuck feeling that has lingered way too long. I felt as though I was still in June and the rest of the world was heading right into September. (WTH? September?) I was feeling not completely present, a sort of anxiousness and my day-dreaming and thought-rambling ...Read More