Deborah Lubar

last updated 2/18/2017

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Deborah Lubar has a recipe to make you a better listener...a better supervisor...better at dealing with cranky customers...better at working out problems with other family members in your business-and it's probably not the recipe you've heard before.
Lubar, a Vermont-based actor and healer who once chaired the theater department at Smith College, came to the Family Business Center September 14 with an unusual approach to communication skills. No talk of I-messages, synchronized breathing, or the other standard items in the Communication Guru's Toolbox that many speakers have introduced to Family Business Center members. For Lubar, the key is something completely different: making space and time to meet your own physical, emotional, and psychological needs. Reduce the stress in your own life, and you'll be better able to hear others. Lubar sees three groups of stressors that make it hard for us to truly listen: Lubar compared the pressures of modern life to driving a narrow road, hemmed in by concrete construction barriers-except that a driver slows down for construction, but we speed up in response to the pressures on our lives. Lubar suggests imagining roots coming out of your feet and down into the earth-and breathing all the way into the abdomen, instead of just into the upper chest. Focus not on the past or the future, but on the here and now. Avoid the "drunken monkey mind" that jumps constantly from one tree limb to another, never stopping to savor the moment. These are all steps in healing from the daily stress-but healing, she says, is not an attitude of 'I'm going to fix this.' Rather, it's about opening up to what needs to happen. When we feel heard, Lubar said, we expand, become "bigger, fuller brighter. For Lubar, used to the arts and academe, addressing a group of business people was, in fact, a big stress; she was worried that she'd be perceived as too New Age.

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http://www.fambizpv.com/articles/values_culture/you_talkin.html

Deborah Lubar has a recipe to make you a better listener…a better supervisor…better at dealing with cranky customers…better at working out problems with other family members in your business-and it's probably not the recipe you've heard before.
Lubar, a Vermont-based actor and healer who once chaired the theater department at Smith College, came to the Family Business Center September 14 with an unusual approach to communication skills. No talk of I-messages, synchronized breathing, or the other standard items in the Communication Guru's Toolbox that many speakers have introduced to Family Business Center members. For Lubar, the key is something completely different: making space and time to meet your own physical, emotional, and psychological needs. Reduce the stress in your own life, and you'll be better able to hear others. Lubar sees three groups of stressors that make it hard for us to truly listen: Lubar compared the pressures of modern life to driving a narrow road, hemmed in by concrete construction barriers-except that a driver slows down for construction, but we speed up in response to the pressures on our lives. Lubar suggests imagining roots coming out of your feet and down into the earth-and breathing all the way into the abdomen, instead of just into the upper chest. Focus not on the past or the future, but on the here and now. Avoid the "drunken monkey mind" that jumps constantly from one tree limb to another, never stopping to savor the moment. These are all steps in healing from the daily stress-but healing, she says, is not an attitude of 'I'm going to fix this.' Rather, it's about opening up to what needs to happen. When we feel heard, Lubar said, we expand, become "bigger, fuller brighter. For Lubar, used to the arts and academe, addressing a group of business people was, in fact, a big stress; she was worried that she'd be perceived as too New Age.

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