Fall -
[Cached Version]
Published on: 3/5/2005
Last Visited: 7/4/2006
Matthew Weiner | mattweiner@hsquizbowl.orgVirginia Commonwealth University | SeniorFall Tournament Associate Editor
After CBI killed his father and raped his mother, Matt Weiner spent seven years in the wilderness searching for the legendary temple of ACF, where monks trained him to seek vengeance and complain about economics tossups.In an attempt to become the ultimate ACF player, Matt Weiner spends his days grinding paperback editions of William Dean Howells novels into a fine dust and injecting them into his veins.Outside of quizbowl, his hobbies include throwing things at Lyndon Larouche and working on his 3000-page tour de force, "Why the Simpsons is Still Better Than Family Guy."
Matt Weiner
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Matt Weiner, child of scorn,Grew lean while he assailed CBI;He wept that Mike Decker was ever born,And he had reasons.
Matt Weiner loved the days of old
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Matt Weiner sighed for what was not,And dreamed, and rested from his labors;He dreamed of Jim Dendy and Georgia Tech,And great ACFers.
Matt Weiner mourned the ripe renownThat made so many a name so fragrant;He mourned Subash, now on the town,And Ezequiel, a vagrant.
Matt Weiner loved Don Windham's teams,
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Matt Weiner cursed the commonplaceAnd eyed a 20 point bonus with loathing;He missed the academic graceOf consistent boni.
Matt Weiner scorned the NAQT title he sought,But sore annoyed was he without it;Matt Weiner thought, and thought, and thought,
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Matt Weiner, born too late,Scratched his head and kept on thinking;Matt Weiner coughed, and called it fate,
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