Sir Silvia Sir Valentine

THURIO a foolish rival to Valentine.
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PROTEUS Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu! Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel : Wish me partaker in thy happiness When thou dost meet good hap ; and in thy danger, If ever danger do environ thee, Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers, For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.VALENTINE And on a love-book pray for my success? PROTEUS Upon some book I love i will pray for thee.VALENTINE that be on some shallow story of deep love : How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.PROTEUS that be a deep story of a deeper love : For he was more than over shoes in love.VALENTINE Tis true ; for you are over boots in love, And yet you never swum the Hellespont.PROTEUS Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.VALENTINE No, I will not, for it boots thee not.PROTEUS What? VALENTINE To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans ; Coy looks with heart-sore sighs ; one fading moment's mirth With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights : If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain ; If lost, why then a grievous labour won ; However, but a folly bought with wit, Or else a wit by folly vanquished.PROTEUS So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.VALENTINE So, by your circumstance, I fear you will prove.PROTEUS Tis love you cavil at : I am not Love.VALENTINE Love is your master, for he masters you : And he that is so yoked by a fool, Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.PROTEUS Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud The eating canker dwells, so eating love Inhabits in the finest wits of all.VALENTINE And writers say, as the most forward bud Is eaten by the canker ere it blow, Even so by love the young and tender wit Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud, Losing his verdure even in the prime And all the fair effects of future hopes.But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee, That art a votary to fond desire? Once more adieu! my father at the road Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.PROTEUS And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.VALENTINE Sweet Proteus, no ; now let us take our leave.To Milan let me hear from thee by letters Of thy success in love, and what news else Betideth here in absence of thy friend ; And likewise will visit thee with mine.PROTEUS All happiness bechance to thee in Milan! VALENTINE As much to you at home! and so, farewell. [ Exit ] PROTEUS He after honour hunts, I after love : He leaves his friends to dignify them more, I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
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O, that our fathers would applaud our loves, To seal our happiness with their consents! O heavenly Julia! ANTONIO How now! what letter are you reading there? PROTEUS May't please your lordship, tis a word or two Of commendations sent from Valentine, Deliver'd by a friend that came from him.
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VALENTINE.

Not mine ; my gloves are on.SPEED Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
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VALENTINE Why, sir, who bade you call her? SPEED Your worship, sir ; or else I mistook.VALENTINE Well, you will still be too forward.SPEED And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.VALENTINE Go to, sir : tell me, do you know Madam Silvia? SPEED She that your worship loves? VALENTINE Why, how know you that I am in love? SPEED Marry, by these special marks : first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, like a malecontent ; to relish a love-song, like a robin-redbreast ; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence ; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A B C ; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam ; to fast, like one that takes diet ; to watch like one that fears robbing ; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas.You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock ; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions ; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner ; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money : and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.VALENTINE Are all these things perceived in me? SPEED They are all perceived without ye.VALENTINE Without me? they cannot.SPEED Without you? nay, that be certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would : but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.VALENTINE But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? SPEED She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper? VALENTINE Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.SPEED Why, sir, I know her not.VALENTINE Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not? SPEED Is she not hard-favoured, sir? VALENTINE Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.SPEED Sir, I know that well enough.VALENTINE What dost thou know? SPEED That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.VALENTINE I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.SPEED that be because the one is painted and the other out of all count.VALENTINE How painted? and how out of count? SPEED Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.VALENTINE How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.SPEED You never saw her since she was deformed.VALENTINE How long hath she been deformed? SPEED Ever since you loved her.VALENTINE I have loved her ever since I saw her ; and still I see her beautiful.SPEED If you love her, you cannot see her.VALENTINE Why? SPEED Because Love is blind.O, that you had mine eyes ; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered! VALENTINE What should I see then? SPEED Your own present folly and her passing deformity : for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.VALENTINE Belike, boy, then, you are in love ; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.SPEED True, sir ; I was in love with my bed : I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.VALENTINE In conclusion, I stand affected to her.SPEED I would you were set, so your affection would cease.VALENTINE Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.SPEED And have you? VALENTINE I have.SPEED Are they not lamely writ? VALENTINE No, boy, but as well as I can do them.Peace! here she comes.SPEED [ Aside ] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her. [ Enter SILVIA ] VALENTINE Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.SPEED [ Aside ] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.SILVIA Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.SPEED [ Aside ] He should give her interest and she gives it him.VALENTINE As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret nameless friend of yours ; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in But for my duty to your ladyship.
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VALENTINE Please you, i will write your ladyship another.
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VALENTINE If it please me, madam, what then? SILVIA Why, if it please you, take it for your labour : And so, good morrow, servant. [ Exit ] SPEED O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple! My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor.O excellent device! was there ever heard a better, That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter? VALENTINE How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself? SPEED Nay, I was rhyming : tis you that have the reason.VALENTINE To do what? SPEED To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.VALENTINE To whom? SPEED To yourself : why, she wooes you by a figure.VALENTINE What figure? SPEED By a letter, I should say.VALENTINE Why, she hath not writ to me? SPEED What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest? VALENTINE No, believe me. SPEED No believing you, indeed, sir.But did you perceive her earnest? VALENTINE She gave me none, except an angry word.SPEED Why, she hath given you a letter.VALENTINE that be the letter I writ to her friend.SPEED And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.VALENTINE I would it were no worse.SPEED i will warrant you, tis as well : For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply ; Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.Why muse you, sir? tis dinner-time.VALENTINE I have dined.SPEED Ay, but hearken, sir ; though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat.O, be not like your mistress ; be moved, be moved. [ Exeunt ] THE TWO G