Dr. Mark W. Roberts

Mark W. Roberts, professor of clinical psychology at Idaho State University, says there are three main reasons for this behavior.For young toddlers (12 to 18 months), the most likely explanation is the simplest one: They've discovered how to get a reaction, and they want to get it again."It's like turning on a light switch, or hitting one of those toys where something pops up," Roberts says."They pull, big brother squeals.This is fun."Another reason toddlers pull hair, Roberts says, is "to make bad things go away.Someone's crawling over them or taking their toys; they reach out and pull hair, and the bad thing stops."Finally, Roberts says, older toddlers (2 to 3) are developing the cognitive skills to reason things out, and may pull hair to try to control the direction of a situation.Roberts gives this example: Your toddler's older brother takes the last cookie, so she pulls his hair to make him squeal."This has possibilities on two levels," Roberts says.
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Don't worry, Roberts says, if she comes back with "Because I had to go to time-out," or some variation thereof.

But it doesn't have to be, at least not according to Mark Roberts, Ph.D., professor of Clinical Psychology at Idaho State University and Director of Clinical Training for the university's Department of Psychology."Acting out" in the form of tantrums is not only common in toddlers, but also perfectly normal, Roberts says."It's quite normative for 2 and 3 year olds to have a few tantrums a day.They're in the socialization sensitive period.They're learning certain rules of conduct, learning how to control their temper, for example."

Roberts says tantrums are merely an extension of the innate crying response in infants."Crying is how they tell us they want something," he explains."It's the infant way of communicating.And parents can't expect a 2 year old to have a fresh psychological start when they've been crying for years, and parents have been correctly and appropriately responding.Then just because the child can walk and talk, parents tend to place new demands on the child which can be very frustrating for a child."

Roberts lists common "frustrators" leading to tantrums as: when caregivers tell toddlers to do something, when caregivers tell them not to do something, being told "no," and being told to "wait."

Jalete Nelms, of Birmigham, AL, and mother of 3-year-old Samantha, says her best defense against her daughter's occasional fits is to "ignore her."Nelms says that if she begins walking away from Samantha, "so that she's still in my peripheral vision and pretend like nothing's happening," the 3 year old usually calms down quickly.
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Roberts agrees that for some parents who have self-confidence and for children whose behavior doesn't escalate, ignoring the tantrum can work.But he says that for children who lose emotional control during a tantrum, removing the child from the environment is the best decision."Go to a private place," he says, "and in public, the only private places are the bathroom or the car.Have a talk with your child or observe a few moments of quiet until he calms down.It's a time-out for both parent and child."But Roberts warns that even in the loss of control, parents should return to the activity."Don't go home," he stresses, "or the child has won.
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Roberts says that while there are several forms of positive reinforcement to help the tantrum, the worst thing a parent can do is give in to a child."When a parent gives in to a tantrum, he negatively reinforces the behavior -usually because he doesn't want to be embarrassed."He adds, "All you have to do is give in a little bit.
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Roberts reiterates that parents-although frustrated-should not become alarmed when their child throws a tantrum, whether at home or in public."A typical child is going to push boundaries, and a typical parent is going to try and enforce those boundaries."But he also encourages parents of extremely difficult children to seek professional help.

DR. MARK ROBERTS I.S.U. PSYCHOLOGY CLINIC GRAVELY HALL NORTH, 3RD FLOOR POCATELLO, ID (208) 282-2129
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MARK ROBERTS, PHD - CHILD REFERRALS 3RD FLOOR, GRAVELY HALL POCATELLO, ID 83209 (208) 282-2129 cellanth@isu.edu

If the rule is "no hitting," the disciplinary action for infractions should be a time-out, says Mark Roberts, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Idaho State University in Pocatello.Dr. Roberts and his colleagues have studied which techniques are most effective in stopping sibling aggression."Calling time-out wins hands down," he says." When the kids begin to fight, parents should say, 'No hitting in this house.You sit on this chair, and you sit on that chair.' The chairs should be up against walls and around the corner from each other so the kids can't see each other.Wait two to five minutes, then talk with the kids about their argument.They will probably have cooled off, so this is a good time to discuss alternatives to fighting."

Substitute words for fists.

Suicide rates tend to spike in the teen years, Mark Roberts, Professor and Director of Clinical Training in ISU's psychology department, said.

"Suicide in teenagers is spooky," he said.

Roberts attributes the rise in suicide rates among teenages to their having more spontaneity, less control and lack the mental development of adults, making teenagers highly unpredictable, he said.

Even with higher suicide rates among teenagers, instances of an individual mental disorder, like depression in adolescents are only about 10 percent, Roberts said.

"These guys are really risking giving bad advice, even though it may well be well intended," said Dr. Mark W. Roberts, a psychologist and director of clinical training at Idaho State University.He added, "

Mark Roberts, Ph.D., professor of Clinical Psychology at Idaho State University, has noted, "Acting out in the form of tantrums is not only common in toddlers, but also perfectly normal."

As noted above, this child's tantrums appear to be most prevalent during times when she is tired or upset.