www.gaycitynews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18861581&BRD=2 -
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Published on: 9/27/2007
Last Visited: 9/29/2007
Stuart Miller and Allen Bell with their baby's surrogate mother Lorisha.
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Stuart Miller and Allen Bell with their baby's surrogate mother Lorisha.
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"You can actually go the foster care to adoption route," said Stuart Miller, CEO of Growing Generations, an LA-based agency specializing in LGBT family planning since 1996.
Miller, who with his partner of four years, Allen Bell, is expecting a child carried by a surrogate next February, noted that foster parents are compensated for their care until the child reaches 18.
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"At the other end is surrogacy," Miller said.
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"You need to do your egg donor selection together; it's serious," Miller explained."You need to hear what your partner is saying."
He is a pianist, and made clear to Bell that he wanted to find an egg donor that was artistically inclined.
Miller also addressed the tricky issue of boundaries with a surrogate.It is a mistake to make a surrogate your best friend, he said, but it is important to let them know how much you appreciate them.Miller and Bell sent their surrogate, Lorisha, to see Beyonc,©, calling the event the "baby's first concert."
"I think it is obvious you care a great deal about this person, and they are giving you a gift you can't put a price on," Miller said."It is really about seeing them as a human being and appreciating them, but keeping appropriate boundaries, which are important in all of our relationships."
Gay fathers should be able to instinctively understand what a surrogate mother is doing for them, he said.
"Many of us are born by accident, but this is no accident," Miller said."There are many people working to make this happen, from surrogates to donors to doctors."
Miller rejected the notion that making a family is a way of aping straight society.It is in fact a form of gay activism in his view.
"The act of becoming a parent for a gay person is extremely political," said Miller.
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"There's a way for every gay person who wants a baby to have a baby, there are just different ways of doing it," said Miller.