Dr. Jennifer Heisler

But according to Dr. Jennifer Heisler, assistant professor at Oakland University with a doctorate in family communications, talking about sex early -and often ¬- will only help kids make better decisions as they journey into adulthood.

"In every other area of our lives, we assume that more information leads to better decision making," Heisler says."Suddenly when I say sex, everyone thinks that no information leads to the best decision."

The mother of two admits even she struggles with the topic and adds that if parents were never given "the talk," it's that much more difficult to turn around and discuss sex with their own children, and the cycle of silence continues.
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Heisler and her husband have begun talking with their 7-year-old son about basic biology.

"He has correct names for his body parts.He knows boys and girls are different," Heisler says.

Heisler chuckles as she remembers a discussion she had with her son when a friend became pregnant.

"It wasn't a big deal.He was a bit grossed out and walked away," Heisler says."Looking back, I had to laugh because I was so nervous."

Although making a baby is considerably more complex than the basic description she gave her son, Heisler says you can't overwhelm children with information they don't want.

"The one-time surprise conversation when they're 16 won't have any affect," Heisler says.
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"Kids may be playing more than spin the bottle," says Heisler, adding that sexual acts are happening more and more at younger ages.

In fact, Heisler and other experts agree that today's generation doesn't even classify oral sex as sex, simply because it's not intercourse.
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"Parents talk about the plumbing, but kids want to also know about relationships," Heisler says.
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"Both groups wish they had discussed more openness, consequences of sexual activity and seriousness of sexual activity," Heisler says.

Kids need to learn the mechanics, but they also need to know there's an emotional side of sex, and they want to hear it from mom and dad.

"Kids want to know that we're human.They want to hear stories on how we coped with sexual pressure," says Heisler, noting that boys especially feel pressure to be sexually experienced.
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I hate the dentist, but I have to go," Heisler says.

Even if the truth came as a shock in their youth, parents often look back and connect a deeper meaning to the myth, says Dr. Jennifer Heisler, an assistant professor of interpersonal and family communication at Oakland University in Rochester.

"Sometimes, folks tell stories over and over and over again," she explains."Stories perpetuate our family values."For instance, a parent who prizes togetherness and commitment might tie those themes into the Santa story, thereby passing it along.

Heisler's own mom was the brood's storytelling matriarch, and with Santa, she pulled out the stops.Although Heisler doesn't play up the Jolly Elf with her two young boys, she confides that the Tooth Fairy in her home probably goes above and beyond, doling out dollar bills instead of loose change.

"Because I got a quarter when I was a kid," she explains.
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If they still suspect magic is the secret to reindeers' ability to fly, Heisler says, hold off.
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"Then, you really have to follow through," cautions Heisler , whose own son recently declared, "I read in the Bible that two bodies can become one."

"Hmm, let's talk about that not in the grocery store," she laughs.

To apply: please send a letter of interest, vita with references, statement of teaching philosophy and representative sample of research to Dr. Jennifer Heisler, Co-Chair, Communication Search Committee, Department of Rhetoric, Communication and Journalism, Oakland University, Rochester, MI 48309-4492.