www.royalsreview.com/story/2007/9/28/144954/566/basebal -
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Published on: 11/29/2007
Last Visited: 11/29/2007
Rafael Betancourt Destroyed Our National Innocence
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Rafael Betancourt is the Cleveland Indians' best relief pitcher.Rafael Betancourt is a steroid user, piercing the maidenhead of our national innocence.
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A nation devastated by Betancourt's two-faced deception.Do we need to check his head-size records?
Indians reliever Rafael Betancourt destroyed our national innocence, and because his steroid-fuelled performance has powered the Indians to an AL Central title, Royals Review proposes the following:
A Modest Proposal to Defend Our National Innocence
During the American League Playoffs, fans should turn their backs to the field when Betancourt takes the mound.
Fans should bring placards with asterisks to the game and gleefully wave them in front of the camera.Placards saying "cheater" are also appropriate.
Through media pressure, we should demand that the Indians season record be marked with an asterisk and that Betancourt be photoshopped out of the team photo.
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According to the data at fangraphs.com, Betancourt has been clearly the most valuable member of the Tribe bullpen, leading the team in WPA and BRAA by wide margins.
According to Baseball Prospectus's WXRL stat, which factors in leverage and performance, Betancourt has been the second best relief pitcher in baseball, adding about six expected wins to the Tribe's total.
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While the despicable Mr. Betancourt continues to assert his innocence, as proud Americans we know better.Allegations and rumors mean guilt, and Betancourt needs to understand that before he sullies our sacrosanct sense of self any further.
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Rafael Betancourt Destroyed Our National Innocence
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As you stated above "Allegations and rumors mean guilt, and Betancourt needs to understand that before he sullies our sacrosanct sense of self any further."
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but how the hell is a guy from Venezula named "Betancourt"?
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Thanks to Rafael Betancourt, you can no longer dream that you were the visiting team's relief pitcher that struck out the side in the 8th inning, thus becoming a bridge from the starter to the closer, and setting up the fascinating scenario above.
Is there suitable childhood fantasy that can replace the one above, now that Rafael has besmirched this once hallowed institution?Will children still wake up early to eagerly check the sports page to see who is leading the league in holds?
Will "Setup Man" join the pantheon of dream careers like astronauts or train conductors, jobs that once held a tight grip on the imagination of boys everywhere, but have since fallen out of fashion and out of the collective consciousness of legion of our nation's youngsters?
How dare you, Rafael Betancourt.How dare you, sir.
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I presume it's because it only served as a painful reminder of how Betancourt effectively shat on the national pasttime.
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why Betancourt was in for two innings yesterday?
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... that Bonds, Mac and Sosa -- and their steroid, etc. use -- has had a different degree of impact on that game than Betancourt who has been throughout his career no better than a pretty good middle reliever.
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