www.caringtoday.com/caregiver-profiles/men-as-caregiver -
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Published on: 10/8/2008
Last Visited: 9/3/2008
"I felt my main purpose was just to keep things going," notes Richard Anderson, who took care of his late wife for 29 of their 31 years of marriage.He is now president of the Well Spouse Association, a nonprofit organization that provides peer support to those caring for a partner with a chronic illness or disability."It gets harder.And somewhere along the way," he admits, "I lost myself."Anderson didn't find Well Spouse until four years before his wife passed away."Like many," he laments, "I wish I had known about it earlier."
Men may also have to fight against their designated role as problem-solvers."I knew my wife's disease (scleroderma) was not curable," says Anderson, "that I had to live with it and could not ‘fix' that.
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"Women tend to feel caregiving is their job and may even stop working if finances permit it," Anderson says.
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"Particularly in a marriage," adds Anderson, "there is the feeling to try to keep everything within the relationship and not talk about it to anyone elseâ€"even family or close friends."