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2501 N. 74 Th Street
It's A Most Excellent Life
"So, most opinionated brother o' mine," started Ted, pressing the eject button on the VCR.
Ted sighed. Ted rebutted sharply, placing the videotape back in the box marked brightly with the Wyld Stallyns logo. "Ted, don't you ever remember to wind your watch? Bill shuffled Ted toward the front yard, leaving Deacon to roll his eyes up into his head before resuming his spaceship blasting. replied Ted, adjusting the wiring on the lawn mower. Ted confirmed. "My father does have a tendency to burst his blood vessels on more than his share of numerous occasions." "It's inconceivable to think your mother could cohabit with such a power-crazed maniac." "Despite all appearances, my parents were quite compatible. Ted paused to reflect. "Mom was working at the Marines' recruiting office when Dad joined up, and they got married while he was still based at Twenty-Nine Palms. He took twenty-four hours leave and they honeymooned in Palm Springs." Ted picked up the remote control box before turning on the electric mower, then stepped aside. "Ready for a test run!" "Let 'er rip, dude!" Ted flipped a switch and the mower slowly wheeled forward. Bill watched in amazement as Ted steered it successfully around the yard a few times, leaving neatly mown strips behind it. Ted boasted, just before the mower started running out of control. "Not!" "Ted, watch out for the flowers!" Ted fumbled with the remote as the mower inched closer and closer to Bill. Just as the front lip of the machine advanced over Bill's toes, Ted managed to throw it into reverse. It backed away, revealing the tattered remains of what were Bill's sneakers. Forgetting the lawn mower, Ted walked to Bill and eyed the ruined shoes. "Hey, don't worry," he offered, hopefully. "Drag," sighed Ted. Ted could only turn and watch as his father sped into the driveway just in time to collide with the speeding lawn mower. They watched as Detective Logan jumped out of the car and stooped to look underneath. Unable to make anything out clearly, he ran to the front bumper and once again leaned to look. He didn't seem quite sure of what was lodged beneath the wheels, but one thing was obvious.....it was something to get furious about. Coming to this conclusion, Ted's father turned toward the two boys standing on the disaster-struck lawn. He lunged forward, his anger quickly boiling over. "Theodore Logan! I want to see you inside, NOW!" Not waiting for Ted to follow, his father roughly grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pushed him ahead. Detective Logan paced a moment, gathering his thoughts. Ted slouched on the couch, waiting for the next bombardment. He'd been through this before, more frequently all the time. "You're completely hopeless, you realize that? You don't apply yourself in school, you don't shoulder responsibility at home! The only thing you spend any time at all with is that stupid band!" Ted sighed and crossed his arms defiantly. He knew his father would get around to putting down the band sooner or later. He remained silent, however. Arguing would only make it worse. He knew the entire speech by heart, anyway. Ted paid more attention now. His father was diverting from his usual speech. He'd never before suggested the idea that Ted wasn't good enough for the academy. Detective Logan sighed angrily. "I don't know...your mother seemed to know how to deal with you better than I do. He leaned to Ted earnestly. "Do you think it's easy raising two boys on my own? I'd at least expect you to do your part to help out! Instead, you're slouching off, causing trouble and flunking school. That's some example to set for your little brother!" Ted couldn't hold his tongue any longer. His father was delving into areas never before touched upon. "But Dad...!" "I don't want to hear it, Ted! I'm just about at the end of my rope! Ted couldn't believe what his father had said. His dad had been mad at him many times before, but this time he truly believed the man hated him. He couldn't stand that idea. He knew his father had a very difficult job, and felt terrible about the trouble he'd caused. The man looked so tired. He stood and walked toward him cautiously. "Um...Dad...I, uh..." "Ted, just shut up. He wiped a hand across his face. "Go to your room. Stay there." Ted slowly walked around his father to his room. His dad didn't even look up at him as he passed. Quickly leaving the room, Bill answered the door and was surprised to see Ted. "I sneaked out," sighed Ted, then shifted his weight uncomfortably. Far from being energetic, which is necessary for playing heavy metal music, Ted sat on the edge of the stage, plucking the strings of his dilapidated guitar out of habit. Ted didn't even notice. He was miles away. Bill placed his own guitar around his neck and walked in front of Ted, plucking a few notes. By this time, Ted wasn't even going through the motions of playing. He was just sitting; staring. "Ted? What did your dad do to you?" Ted snapped out of his thoughts. "Huh?" "That's not the problem," sighed Ted, letting his arms dangle between his legs. "It's not my dad. It's me. "That was just a stupid accident, Ted." "Ted, you and I both know what our future is. The band is going to happen! Hey...haven't we learned two chords so far?" Ted considered this. Ted seemed unconvinced. "My dad doesn't yell at Deacon all the time. Aw man, I dunno. He says I'm setting a bad example for my brother." Bill realized Ted was much more depressed than he'd suspected. Ted dropped his head slightly, lowering his voice to where it was almost inaudible. "Even my mom left me." Bill gave Ted a startled look. "Yeah," Ted sighed, hesitating. After a moment he looked up at his best friend. He seemed to want to say something, but he didn't need to. "Ted, your mom got killed in a car accident. It wasn't your fault! It was that stupid drunk driver." Thinking this over a moment, Ted finally nodded his head out of polite agreement. Bill asked, patting Ted's shoulder. Ted smiled. Bill paused to hold the door open for Ted, who was burdened down with a large, cardboard box full of brightly capped cans. "It was most excellent of Ms. McFadden to let us work on our own art project for class," Ted commented, setting the box down on a nearby bench. "She did ask us not to use any profanity, though," Ted reminded Bill. Ted looked around, then motioned toward the brick wall which made up the side of the gymnasium. "Let's put it up against this wall. "This has been a most successful art project," Ted commented, as they lowered the banner to reveal the same logo and artwork spray-painted onto the brick wall. "Ted, this is indeed a most heinous turn of events." Ted turned and quickly fumbled around in the box. "Did we bring any turpentine from the classroom?" "I don't think so. But there must be some kind of spray-on paint remover that takes this stuff right off." "We're going to get in big trouble for this, Bill," Ted sighed worriedly. Bill threw Ted a concerned look. It had been three days since the lawnmower incident, and Ted had been troubled ever since. He certainly didn't need another disaster added to his problems. "Don't worry. How will anyone know we did it?" They looked up at the Wyld Stallyns logo, then at each other in defeat. "Alaska's starting to look good, dude," sighed Ted. Ted, likewise, grabbed a can and quickly began reading. Logan! "It's the truth, sir," Ted offered, aware of Mr. Ryan's disapproving reaction to the statement. Ted was on the edge of his seat immediately, begging and protesting. Ted collapsed back into the couch in despair. "Your dad is a detective, Ted. "Detective Logan! I didn't expect you to come down here! He shot a look at the secretary, who was equally concerned. "I heard about your phone call and decided to come myself," Detective Logan explained, shaking the Vice Principal's hand. He was startled when Detective Logan lunged for the office, and hurried after him. "But, really, maybe this isn't the right way to approach..." It was too late. Detective Logan stormed into the office, startling Bill and Ted terribly. He stopped short, unable to believe what he was seeing. Ted offered cheerfully, unable to think of anything else to say. Detective Logan looked as if he would explode. The silence in the patrol car was far worse than any screaming Ted could have imagined. He was seated next to his silent father. Poor Bill was sitting in the back like a criminal; the wire mesh separating them. He didn't dare turn to look at him, as much as he wanted to. He wished his dad had at least let them sit together. It was always easier to face death row with a friend. They weren't exactly sure where Detective Logan intended to take them, but after a while Bill began to realize they were going toward his house. "Wait here, Ted," his father ordered, and climbed out of the driver's seat. He walked around to the back door and opened it, motioning for Bill to get out. As Bill stepped onto the curb, Detective Logan slammed the car door violently shut behind him. Detective Logan walked back to the car and climbed behind the wheel. Ted was now looking out of the window at his friend, almost apologetically. "You know, Ted, I should have taken you and Bill down to the station. Detective Logan was silent a moment, then angrily slammed his fists against the steering wheel. "Damn it! Why do you do this to me?" Ted turned away from his father, not wanting to let him see the hurt. He'd gone over that same question again and again the last three days. He'd even contemplated running away. If he left, he wouldn't cause any more trouble. But he'd dismissed the notion, realizing it would only leave his family and friends to worry about where he'd gone. If only there were some way to just disappear...everyone would be better off. But still, there was the future. He had to believe in that. "I've given you plenty of chances," his father continued, pausing before the next statement. "No more band!" Ted spun to face his father in disbelief. "No way!" Ted shook his head slowly in protest. "Dad, you can't mean that!" "You heard me!" Ted slouched in the seat. Ted sat up, then looked over at his father, who was staring straight ahead, clutching the wheel tightly. "I'm sorry, Dad," he offered, then unbuckled as he opened the car door and jumped out, running down the street as fast as he could. Detective Logan threw on the emergency brake and jumped out of the car. Ted was already too far away to chase. "Ted! You get back here right now! he screamed, letting the car stopped behind him wait. Ted was almost to the middle of the block and showed no sign of stopping. "If you run away now, you can just forget about coming home! his father screamed after him, so angry now that he was shaking. As Ted disappeared from sight, his father climbed back into the patrol car. He reached over to close the passenger side door with a groan of exasperation before releasing the brake and heading for home. * * * * * * * * * * * * It had seemed like a long walk up the front path after Detective Logan had dropped him off. As he approached the porch, he saw Missy standing in the doorway, watching him. "Hi, Bill," she said cheerfully. "Ted and I accidentally spray-painted the wall of the gym, so Vice Principal Ryan called the police. I just hope it isn't too late for Ted. Ted ran onto the lawn and came to a panting stop in front of him. "Ted! What's going on?" Ted sputtered between breaths. "Ted, your father cannot keep us from being friends!" "I know," sighed Ted. "I'm not running away, really. I just have to do something and then everything will be okay." "Ted, don't do anything stupid." Ted looked at Bill in earnest. Bill didn't want to give his consent, but he also didn't want to tell Ted what to do. "You coming back?" Ted sighed sadly. "I dunno. It won't matter anyway." Bill was about to start another round of protest when Ted surprised him by stepping forward and hugging him briefly. Too stunned to do anything at first, Bill watched as Ted ran toward the side of the garage. he gasped, taking off after Ted. The phone booth was already aglow when he rounded the corner of the garage. "Ted, wait! Don't!!! Ted was gone, he had no idea where. And with no way to follow him there was absolutely nothing he could do. Ted stumbled out of the time machine, a bit shaken. It took him a minute to collect himself enough to take in his surroundings. Ted turned to study the booth's location. He couldn't let it be discovered. Luck was with him, however. It had landed in perfect position at the end of a row of phone booths outside the station. An "out of order" sign was attached to one of the permanent booths. Ted borrowed it, placing it on the time machine. Knowing how infrequently gas station telephones were repaired, he knew it would be safe. The hotel lobby was overly decorated; typical of a trendy, vacation getaway. He took in the fancy carpet, the bright wall hangings and plush furniture as he crossed to the front desk. "Guess I'd better find out if they've checked in," was his thought as he reached the reception area. There were voices coming from a room behind the front desk. They were clearly arguing, rising and falling in volume. Ted waited, not wanting to ring the service bell and disturb whatever was going on. A middle-aged gentleman crossed to a position where Ted could see him, and he likewise noted Ted. "Hush," he quickly warned the other person. "We have a guest." "I don't care! the younger, male voice came. The middle-aged man looked to Ted apologetically. "I'll be with you in just a second." Ted nodded. Ted had been thinking about the question, and realized it just might be the answer he needed. "A job?" The manager looked hopeful. "You do need a job? Can you bellhop?" With a confused look, Ted motioned to the service bell. Deacon could have guessed it had something to do with Ted. "Not since this morning. His father went back to staring straight ahead. "What did he do this time?" Detective Logan twisted his body around to look out the window. He was torn apart with worry and anger, trying to decide what to do when Ted came home. He knew he'd most likely end up yelling again. He couldn't help it. Lately he'd been unable to do anything but yell at Ted. Just the sight of his son brought out anger more often than not. He didn't really understand why. It just happened. He shifted back again so he was leaning forward, eyes to the floor. It had crossed his mind.....what if Ted didn't come home? He couldn't really believe Ted wouldn't. Where else would a kid like that go? His son wasn't the most resourceful person in the world. Ted had to know he didn't mean it when he'd yelled after him about not coming home. A knock on the door made his heart jump. Ted? No, Ted wouldn't have knocked. He got up and opened the front door to find Vice Principal Ryan and a woman he didn't recognize. "Oh, I didn't expect....." "I hope we're not intruding, Detective Logan," Mr. Ryan offered, "But we felt it was important to see you. Detective Logan stepped aside, allowing them to enter. It turns out Bill and Ted were telling the truth.....the graffiti was just an accident. This news clearly affected Detective Logan, and Mr. Ryan was quick to add. "I will tell him," Detective Logan promised, following them to the door. "Ted's not academically inclined, but I guess we should just consider ourselves lucky he has interests other than drugs and crime." "Yes.....of course. Good night." Closing the door after them, Detective Logan leaned his back against it. What they said had hit home. In many ways, he should count himself lucky that Ted wasn't as far gone as some of the kids he'd seen hauled into the station. But one thing stood out in his mind above everything else.....he'd threatened to take away the few things Ted really cared about over something he didn't do. Somehow he knew Ted wouldn't be coming home on his own. "Oh, sorry, sir," Ted replied as he passed the desk, immediately jumping off the cart. With nothing to do at the moment, Ted walked over to the cart to sit down. At that moment he heard a commotion from the front of the hotel. A man entered, carrying a woman through the doorway. Giggles and squeals of delight accompanied them. Ted strained to see. The bright sunlight backlit the newlywed couple, but their giddiness made him drop his hopes. Couldn't possibly be his parents. He stood and moved the cart out of the way. The man managed to carry the woman to the middle of the lobby before setting her down with a laugh. She reached up and kissed his lips sweetly. Hating to interrupt, he motioned to the front desk. "I'll sign us in." Ted turned to see the groom, in full military uniform, at the front desk, anxiously ringing the service bell. The bride was standing nearby, so he stepped forward to greet her. Before Ted could say anything, the woman turned to face him, and he froze. The familiar dark eyes twinkled at him from beneath her flowing, black hair, much the same way they had whenever he'd done something to please her. He realized he wasn't at all prepared to see her again for the first time in over two years, and certainly not looking so young and vibrant. "Mom?" he gasped softly, in awe. Her overjoyed expression changed to one of confusion. "I beg your pardon?" Catching himself, Ted remembered where he was. Embarrassed, Ted nodded. His father turned from the front desk, displaying the key. "We're set! he announced, cuddling next to his new wife. Ted couldn't believe how affectionate they were being. He never suspected his father could be so gentle and loving. The whole scene was so unreal...like he was looking at one of their old wedding photos on the fireplace mantle. Sgt. Logan noticed Ted standing nearby, watching them in amazement, and particularly eyed the shorts with some distaste. "Front and center, young man!" Obediently, and with familiarity, Ted stepped forward and came to attention. "The bags are out front." "Yes, sir," Ted replied with a salute, and executed a perfect about face, marching outside. A chauffeur in Marine uniform stood next to the camoflauge-colored jeep, which was oddly decorated with crepe paper flowers and messages of well wishes scrawled in soap. The driver reached inside the back of the jeep and handed Ted a new, bright red leather suitcase and a duffel bag. Ted thanked the man and carried the luggage inside. His parents were waiting for the elevator, which came as he approached them. "Just think," sighed his mother, stepping into the elevator. "An entire evening to ourselves!" "That's what you think," Ted thought silently, following them. It was so unlike Ted to just take off like that. Ted would realize that everyone would worry about him. He wouldn't do that to his dad and brother....."to me! Missy set the plate down on the dresser and leaned over the foot of the bed. "You're worried about Ted, huh?" Logan is downstairs. Logan softly exclaimed, "Charge!", allowing himself to fall across her. He gathered her into his arms, enjoying the smooth silk of her dress against her slender torso. They had soon lost themselves in a mass of passionate kisses, allowing their bodies to rub together tauntingly. The sound of heavy breathing interspersed with soft laughter caught Ted's ear as he approached the honeymoon suite. His last few steps were hurried as he reached the door, pressing his ear against it to confirm the noises were indeed coming from his parents' room. He knew it would do no good to knock. They'd simply ignore him at that point. Setting aside the ice bucket and stand while carefully balancing the tray on one hand, Ted fished into his back pocket for the passkey to their room, which he'd taken from behind the front desk, suspecting it might eventually come in handy. He quietly placed the key in the lock and turned it, then pushed against the door, acting as if he'd accidentally leaned against it. The noise of Ted stumbling into the room made his parents jump. They were both somewhat disheveled, but tried to put themselves together. "What do you mean by barging in here? Sgt. Logan demanded. Ted managed to conceal the key in his pocket before facing them. "Oh, um.....sorry, sir. You must have left the door sorta open. I leaned against it before knocking and fell in." "Yes, well, what exactly do you want?" Ted offered the tray he was holding. "Complimentary champagne for the newlyweds! he announced, then set the tray with the bottle on the dresser before reaching outside the door to bring in the stand and ice bucket. "Oh, isn't that nice? Ted's mother stated, inconspicuously running her now stockinged foot up the back of her husband's leg, which he did not appreciate while trying to deal with unruly hotel staff. "Yes, it's very nice. Just leave it there, we'll drink it later." Ted knew he didn't dare leave them. He set up the stand, unsuccessfully trying to look like he knew exactly what he was doing. "Oh, sorry, sir, but I'm supposed to open the champagne for you. Hotel rules." "Yes, well, I'm sure no one will mind if you don't open one bottle. Sgt. Logan stepped forward and slyly offered Ted a ten dollar bill. Ted eyed it in amazement. Ted backed away from the money, covering for the slip. "Sir, am I to understand that you are trying to bribe me not to do my job? I am appalled that you would think I could be so easily swayed from my appointed duties!" "All right, all right," Sgt. Logan grumbled, digging in his pocket. "Twenty dollars." Ted laughed aloud. "No, thank you! A bellhop's gotta do what a bellhop's gotta do! Now then, it'll just take me a second to get this champagne open, then I will be on my way and you can go back to your.....honeymooning." Sgt. Logan capitulated and sat on the edge of the bed with his wife to watch Ted open the champagne. Ted examined the wired cork with interest. Finally, he looked to them. Once Bill's parents were out of earshot, Detective Logan spoke. "Bill, I want to talk to Ted." I know you're covering for Ted, but I need to talk to him." "I'm really sorry, Mr. Logan. Ted ran away. I don't know where he went." Detective Logan could see the worry in Bill's eyes and, much to his own surprise, believed him. "Ted was really upset when I saw him. He thinks you don't care about him. He said he couldn't go home." Hearing his own statement thrown back at him further aggrivated Ted's dad. "I'm not a bad father! Ted has a roof over his head, food on the table.....I work damn hard! Ted's just a sloucher! He doesn't care at all about his future!" "That's not true! Ted does care about his future! But his idea of the future is different than yours. That doesn't make him a delinquent!" Detective Logan didn't say anything right away. Detective Logan rebutted sharply. "The problem is he doesn't listen!" All I know is Ted's really been hurting and I haven't been able to get through to him. He needs somebody! He studied the man's face. "Damn it, he needs you! And all you do is yell at him! Maybe Ted doesn't listen, but he can only stand to hear his own father call him 'hopeless' so many times. As an afterthought he added, "Sir." "When you see Ted, tell him to come right home. The door was slammed, not so politely, behind him. After a moment, Bill's stepmom and dad reappeared. "Don't let it get to you," sighed his dad. "Detective Logan is just set in his ways." Logan turned to face the incompetent bellboy, who was now holding the bottle between his legs and pulling with all his might on the cork. "His best isn't cutting it." Ted stopped struggling and held the bottle up to the light, examining it for the fourteenth time. "I don't understand what the problem is. I guess I could just break the neck off the bottle, if you're really thirsty." "The novelty of this has somehow worn off," sighed Sgt. Logan. He casually walked to Ted, then made a drastic grab for the bottle. "Give me that!" Ted held onto the cork tightly. "No, really! Sgt. Logan struggled to get up, swinging the bottle roughly into Ted's hands. "We are going for a walk. I want this room cleaned up by the time we get back! Come on, dear." Ted did his best to look chastised until his parents had left, then let out a sigh, lifting the bottle in a toast to himself before taking a swig. "You mean Ted? Ted has gone back in time to try to prevent his own birth." "Ted is very distraught. Ted can't do it!" Ted's a good kid. Ted may not be willing to come back so easily, but he might listen to you." "What if he doesn't?" "We must stop Ted from interfering with his parents' honeymoon. If he succeeds in keeping them apart until his dad goes back on duty at six a.m., then he'll cease to exist. And if he doesn't exist, our future won't exist as we know it. There will be no way to rectify it once it's done. Ted won't even exist in our memories." "Oh, that sounds wonderful," Mrs. Logan replied eagerly. Seeing Ted was about to bolt, he called out. "Logan! Get over here, now!" Reluctantly, Ted walked to the front desk. "Yes, Mr. Haskell?" Mr. Haskell watched Ted quickly disappear up the stairs. Ted peered around the corner of the stairway from the first landing and saw Mr. Haskell leave the front desk. Ted could see his parents sitting at an isolated table in a quiet corner. They'd apparently just ordered drinks from a cocktail waitress who was walking away from their table. The ambience was perfect for romance, disturbed only by an occasional outburst of laughter or loud talking from the servicemen. Their pre-partying was beginning to peak with the help of a few drinks, and this gave Ted an idea. The band members looked to be in their mid-to-late twenties; a typical part-time, struggling group taking jobs wherever they could. They had finished their song and were setting up for the next number when Ted approached. Remembering it was 1971, Ted readjusted his thinking. "Ooh, right.....sorry. Hendrix, Stones.....something from the 'Good Morning, Vietnam' soundtrack?" "Oh, sure. But, it's not really the type of music we're supposed to play here." Ted motioned toward the bar. "Oh," Ted sighed, thinking. "Is that like 4-F?" Ted walked to the bar and leaned back to see what would happen. "Good evening, everyone. We'd like to play a little something now for all the servicemen out there....who like to fight hard....." He turned to adjust the knobs on his amplifier. Ted could see the shocked look on his father's face from across the room. "Ted must be here!" "It would seem so," sighed Rufus, examining the area. "Okay. Go to the hotel and find Ted. Try talking it over with him." "Where are you going, Rufus?" "I'm going to do some research on your lives. Maybe I can find something in his past that will convince Ted to come back." The restaurant was not at all the same place Ted had walked into an hour ago. Ted was swinging his head with the music when the sight of his parents kissing startled him. He had to do something, and fast! At that moment, a busboy passed by and stopped at the bar, filling a pitcher of ice with water. Ted crossed to the small man, passing a table which had just been abandoned, and purposely knocked one of the nearly empty glasses onto the floor. Hearing the glass fall, the busboy looked up as Ted approached. "Go pick that up and clear the table right away," Ted ordered. "I'll get the water." Seeing no reason to argue, the busboy did what he was told. Ted picked up the pitcher and, as an afterthought, grabbed a menu before walking to his parent's table. They were still kissing when he reached them. He held the menu up to cover his face as he refilled his mother's glass. They paid no attention to him. "More water, senior? Ted asked in his best Mexican accent, keeping the menu in front of his face. His father didn't even regard the question. Ted had no other choice. Grimacing, he leaned to refill the glass, then pulled the pitcher back so the water and ice poured straight into his father's lap. Sgt. Logan leaped up, screaming in agony and bumping into the table, causing glasses to topple. "So sorry, sir.....I shall bring a towel most promptly," Ted offered facetiously, ducking behind the menu and scurrying away before his father could turn on him. "Augh!! I don't believe this!" "Oh, honey! Here, let me..." Mrs. Logan grabbed her napkin and tried to dab away the wetness. Logan came across the small busboy, who eyed the wet pants with surprise before looking up into the face of the angry sergeant. "You have accident? he asked curiously. Losing all control, Sgt. Logan grabbed the confused man menacingly by the shirt. "You clumsy, little oaf!" Standing at the bar with his back to the room, Ted risked a quick look over his shoulder and saw that his father was about to explode. With a frustrated shudder, Sgt. Logan released the helpless busboy and aimed an angry finger at the Marines. "Disrepectful little assholes! he yelled, then stormed off to the men's room. "Oooooooh! swooned the group, laughing after him. Ted sighed with relief. That would pretty much do it. His father had been humiliated, something the man was never able to overcome very easily. He turned to face the restaurant, happy that his mission seemed to be going so well........until he saw his mother sitting alone at the table, trying her best to hide the tears. His heart dropped to see her crying. He wanted more than anything to go to her, comfort her......explain that it was all for the best. He knew he couldn't. Head dropped, he left the restaurant. Then, before he'd even reached the front desk, Ted walked in from the restaurant, pausing to retrieve a red dress jacket from the floor. Ted looked up quickly, tilting his head. Ted didn't answer verbally. He pulled the jacket on, then shook his head in reply. "Ted, we have to talk." Ted buttoned up the jacket, then callously walked past Bill. Ted stopped, then turned back to Bill. "Logan! There you are! He stopped suddenly, as the loud music in the bar started up again. "What is that?" "I think it's the band, sir," Ted announced. "Doesn't sound like easy listening to me." "On the contrary," Ted corrected. Ted walked to the elevator with Bill following close behind as Mr. Haskell left the front desk and disappeared down the hallway. Ted exhaled, thinking it over. "Okay, look. Wait here. This shouldn't take too long." The elevator doors opened and Ted stepped inside. Ted gave Bill a sincere look. Ted had never gone back on a promise before. A woman entered from the restaurant, clutching a handkerchief to her nose as she sniffed loudly. She crossed to the elevator and pressed the button. Bill waited patiently, and pretty soon Ted reappeared, walking down the stairs. Ted moaned softly, fidgeting. "Ted, this isn't the answer. Ted shook his head. "He probably just wanted to know where I was so he could keep me under control." "I do not think so. Ted, your dad isn't some red-eyed, evil monster!" Ted shot him a look. Ted stood up to pace. Bill leaned toward Ted earnestly. "Ted, you're taking to heart words your father has spoken out of anger. Ted shifted his weight, dropping his shoulders. Ted nodded in agreement. It was then that Rufus entered the hotel lobby and walked to them. "Rufus! Ted exclaimed. Rufus nodded, approaching Ted slowly. Ted gave Rufus a startled look. "How d'ya mean?" "I took the liberty of going through your histories. Perhaps you recall a certain skateboarding incident when you were ten years old?" Ted thought a moment. "Not really." "Of course, Ted! He means the first day I got my skateboard and you insisted on riding down Gorman's Hill on it with me." "That's right," Ted recalled. "You let me sit on the back!" "And we cracked up halfway down the hill because you kept dragging your feet," Bill reminded Ted. "I was not dragging my feet! Ted whined. "You were, too! Your legs always were too long! I ended up with two broken fingers." "Great," Ted sighed. "Ted, if you hadn't been born, you wouldn't have been there that day, and Bill would have gone down that hill alone." If Ted hadn't been there, you would have died that day." "You see, Ted, it may not seem like your life has had any signifigance, when in reality it has!" "Whoa! Ted gasped. "Yeah," Ted thought aloud. "Gee, Bill. Ted looked from Bill to Rufus and shrugged. "And don't worry, Ted. Ted seemed unimpressed, which worried Bill somewhat, but getting Ted back to San Dimas was the important thing. "Oh, that's no problem," Ted assured them. Bill and Rufus did their best to disappear where they stood as Ted faced his father. "Um.....no, sir." Sgt. Logan eyed Ted in frustration, then ran to the elevator and pushed the button. The doors immediately opened and Ted's mother hurried out, carrying her suitcase. Logan stormed through the lobby and into the bar and Ted's mother hurried out the front door. Ted turned to the others, worriedly. "Uh oh, dude," Bill said to Ted. Ted, you know your parents better than anyone. If there's a way to get them... 'in the mood', so to speak, you should know it!" After a moment of thought, Ted snapped his fingers. Ted walked to the bench and sat down, not looking directly at her. "I'm sorry things didn't work out." She nodded, but added nothing, uncomfortable talking about personal matters with a stranger. "I hate to say it, but that guy you married is a real hothead!" "He does have quite a temper at times." Ted shook his head. Ted smiled back. Ted shrugged. "I dunno. Just a hunch." A taxicab pulled up to the curb. Ted's mother stood, moving to pick up her suitcase, but Ted stood and picked it up for her. She walked to the cab and grabbed hold of the door handle when she noticed that Ted was still standing by the bench, holding her suitcase as if he had no intention of letting her leave. She stood, perplexed, and thought about what she herself had said. Smiling, she let go of the handle. "I should give him another chance?" "That would be a most excellent idea," Ted confirmed. "He is presently drowning his sorrows in the lounge." Mrs. Logan leaned to the cab driver. "That's okay. Thanks, anyway." She stepped to Ted as the cab pulled away, reaching out to claim her bag, which he handed to her. Letting out a short laugh, she studied his face. Ted followed her inside the hotel, lagging behind as she continued on to the lounge. He was suddenly overcome with the urge to call after her. If there were only some way he could warn her about that night.....to take her back with him. But he couldn't jeapordize their plan. He had to let her go. Logan swallowed the last of his drink and motioned to order another. He then looked to Rufus, who was sitting at the end of the bar, watching the door. Rufus turned and motioned an air guitar strum.....the signal. Within a few seconds, Ted's mother walked through the door, scanning the tables until she spotted her husband. Ted watched eagerly from the doorway.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Online Adventure - How To Make Bill & Ted Costumes - Ted's Excellent Adventure Costume
Ted "Theodore" Logan
Bill & Ted's Excellent Online Adventure - How To Make Bill & Ted Costumes - Ted's Excellent Adventure Costume Ted wears a white t-shirt which bears a promotional photo of the band Van Halen used around the time of their album "5150. Ted also wears a red jacket. The actual color is somewhere between an orange and a rust, but it sometimes comes across as being reddish so anything in that realm of the color spectrum will do. The jacket should be either a jean or denim fabric or something similar. Ted usually keeps this wrapped around his waist, the same way Bill keeps his shirt around his waist. Ted wears black shorts which come down to just above his knee. These can be very plain, simple black shorts and shouldn't be too hard to find. However, Ted has added a couple of things to his shorts. On the left leg (when worn) he has a bumper sticker which reads "Save the Humans" and then below that a Smiley face sticker. For shoes Ted wears black high top sneakers with white soles and accents. His shoelaces are purple, which is somewhat hard to tell from these photos! Update: according to ChucksConnection.com, Bill and Ted both wear Converse All Star "Chuck Taylor" canvas basketball shoes. As Ted in Excellent Adventure you have the option to carry some additional props around with you. Apparently you *can* find pudding still in metal cans similar to those carried by Bill and Ted.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Online Adventure - Articles - Fox Live Action Series - Press Kit - 1992
You'll never meet two cooler, hipper or most excellent dudes than Bill S. Preston, Esquire (Evan Richards) and Ted "Theodore" Logan (Christopher Kennedy).
Long-time best friends from San Dimas, California, Bill and Ted are typical, American high-school teenagers. Rufus' job is crucial: he must keep Bill and Ted on the correct path and their band playing together in order to end war and poverty and to create harmony among all living species. Ted, however, think's she's "a most bodacious babe" and once even asked her to the prom. Always trying to please, Bill and Ted somehow manage to confuse the customers. (Ted "Theodore" Logan on BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES) Christopher Kennedy (Ted "Theodore" Logan)
Bill & Ted's Excellent Online Adventure - How To Make Bill & Ted Costumes - Ted's Bogus Journey Costume
Ted "Theodore" Logan
Bill & Ted's Excellent Online Adventure - How To Make Bill & Ted Costumes - Ted's Bogus Journey Costume At the bottom of this page there is a checklist of items needed to make a Ted costume. Let's begin with the shirt, or rather shirts (Ted always prefers the layered look!). First he wears a tank top style shirt which should be either a rusty, rose or brick red color. See the photo below for how this shirt should look without anything else over it: The next item may prove a little more difficult to find. Ted wears a peach or light orange sweatshirt with an attached hood. A hooded sweatshirt isn't hard to find, but finding the right shade of peach or orange might be a little harder. If all else fails, you might consider buying a white hooded sweatshirt and then dyeing it the appropriate color. The sweatshirt should zip open down the front, but if you simple can't find one like this you might be able to cut a sweatshirt down the front to achieve the same look. Again, look around thrift shops first, and keep checking back as they get new items in all the time! On top of all that Ted wears a bright red vest. On the back of the red jacket vest Ted has a large smiley face. It doesn't appear that Ted wears his watch in Bogus Journey as he does in Excellent Adventure. Instead on his right wrist he is wearing two brown or black leather bands with silver snaps or buttons on them: This is a little trickier, but if you want to go as the ghost Bill and Ted then you should seek out the same clothes as above but all should be in varying grayish colors instead.
VIDEO: A Big Collection of Movie Introductions
Ted Theodore Logan (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure)