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1410 Grant St. Ste. D314
Susan Heitler, PhD, Denver psychologist/author, offers effective individual, couple and family therapy for marriage, depression, anxiety and anger problems.... more.
Therapy Practice | Therapy Help
Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Bio of Dr. Heitler Articles by Dr. Heitler Susan Heitler, Ph.D. 4500 E. 9th Ave. #660 Denver, Colorado 80220 Phone: 303-388-4211 Fax: 303-388-4214 Email To contact one of the independent mental health professionals in Dr. Heitler's office suite, call Dr. Heitler's secretary at 303 388-4211 or use the therapist's direct number. Dr.Susan Heitler, Ph.D Susan Heitler, Ph.D. and colleagues TherapyHelp 4500 E. 9th Ave. #660 Denver, CO 80220 Phone:303-388-4211 Email Copyright © 2003-2006 Susan Heitler, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. marriage counseling ... marriage problems ... marriage workshops
Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Private Practice, Denver, CO Running head: NARCISSISM DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Dr. Susan Heitler, 4500 East 9th Ave, Suite 660, Denver, CO 80220.Â E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org. The conflict-focused treatment methods and policies utilized in this case, familiar to many therapists from the training video, The Angry Couple (Heitler, 1995), are outlined in Appendix A and described in more detail in other publications (Heitler, 1987, 1993, 2000, 2001, 2013, 2014). Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Diagnostic Perspectives While narcissism has many facets, it can be defined as, at core, a listening deficit. Â Ability to hear and respond appropriately to both oneâ€™s own and othersâ€™ concerns, a skill for which I have coined the term bilateral listening (Heitler, 1993), is a prerequisite for healthy collaborative relationships.Â Â Â Narcissistic dysfunction stems from a deficit in bilateral listening.Â The listening deficit may be selective, with the handicap particularly pronounced, paradoxically, toward loved ones such as a spouse and children, and more effective with people whom a narcissistic individual looks up to or wants to impress. This tall-man syndrome (Heitler, 2011) leads to feeling deserving of special treatment. When narcissism blurs the boundary between self and other, the other feels like an extension of the self.Â Experience of a spouse or children as a third arm rather than as independent people puts family members at risk for appendage-itis, the authorâ€™s term for becoming an adjunct to a another with loss of a sense of personal autonomy and value (Heitler, 2012). Without the win-win option, the four remaining conflict resolution pathways all detour away from collaborative solution-building, creating the opposite of personal well-being and collaborative relationships.Â These options and the specific negative emotions and habits that they produce are (Heitler, 1990): (a) Fight: Anger escalates to enable a conflict participant to dominate and win;Â (b) Flight: Addictive and obsessive-compulsive behaviors facilitate escape from conflicts; (c) Freeze: Anxiety within and tension between people emerge from immobilization; and (d) Fawn: Depression results from giving up on getting desired outcomes in conflict situations.Â Giving up has survival value in that it prevents injuries from fighting which would imperil survival. Outcome measures.Â As suggested for scientist-practitioners by Castonguay, (2012) as well as by Lambert, I ask all clients in treatment with me to fill out a Session Review form (Heitler, 2014) after each session.Â The form includes 5-point scoring of pre- and post-session distress levels and of the sessionâ€™s helpfulness plus open-ended questions about helpful and unhelpful session events. First Session Therapeutic Interventions Prior to the first session Joan and Mark had filled out an intake form (Heitler, 2014) with questions about symptoms, family history and current functioning.Â After welcoming the couple to her office, asking about prior treatment experiences, and explaining her policies on session recordings, individual therapy and confidentiality (see Appendix A), the therapist launched directly into diagnostic and treatment interventions. Visualizationto alleviate Joanâ€™s depression and critical stance.Â Hypothesizing that Joanâ€™s chronically critical stance toward Mark stemmed from depression, the therapist utilized a visualization technique to ascertain if Joan was in fact depressed and, if so, to lift the depression (Heitler, 2014).Â Â Based on the conflict-focused therapy assumption that depression emerges in response to a dominant-submissive conflict resolution pathway, this technique verifies first if depression is the correct diagnosis, pinpoints the source of the depressive collapse, restores a normal sense of personal power, and encourages discovery then of a win-win solution to the conflict that had precipitated the depressed state. The therapist reviewed the sessionsâ€™ main points, gave the couple a handout on exit routines (Heitler, 2014), suggested homework reading for the several weeks ahead (Heitler, 1997 on listening and tactful talking skills, Heitler, 2012 on exit routines), and encouraged listening to their session CD to consolidate their growth. Sentence starters for sustaining collaborative dialogue.Â Ratherthan focusing on what went wrong in the discussions the past week that had led to arguments, the therapist gave Mark and Joan a handout listing six safe sentence starters.Â Her goal was to give them an experience of, as well as skills for, collaborative dialogue (Heitler, 2014 for these and other handouts). Coaching win-win conflict resolution.Â Joan and Mark had fought again the past week about where things were; in this case, the culprit was a missing phone charger.Â The therapist in this case introduced the idea of switching from fighting when something goes wrong win-win problem-solving (Heitler, 2014, Win-win waltz worksheet). On the self-report Session Review forms (Heitler, 2014) that clients fill out after each session, Mark and Joan reported significant improvement. Heitler, S. (1987). Conflict Resolution: A framework for integration. J. Integrative and Eclectic Psychotherapy, 6, 3, 1987. http://www.therapyhelp.com/conflict-resolution-a-framework-for-integration/ Heitler, S. (1993). From conflict to resolution. New York: Norton. Heitler, S. (1997).Â The power of two.Â Oakland, CA: New Harbinger. Heitler, S. (2000). Conflict resolution therapy.Â In Dattilio, F. M. & Bevilacqua, L. J. Eds. Comparative treatments for relationship dysfunction. New York: Springer. Heitler, S. (2001). Combined individual/marital therapy: A conflict resolution framework and ethical considerations. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 11, 349-383. Heitler, S. (2006). The angry couple: Conflict-focused treatment. DVD.Â New York: Newbridge. Available from http://www.psychotherapy.net/video/angry-couple. The angry couple manual is available at http://therapyhelp.com. Heitler, S. (2011). Success can breed the narcissism of â€œtall-man syndrome.â€ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201110/success-can-breed-the-narcissism-tall-man-syndrome Heitler, S. (2012). Appendage-itis: When you love too much. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201202/appendage-itis-when-you-love-too-much Heitler, S. (2013).Â Treating high conflict couples. In Koocher, G.P., Norcross, J. C. & Greene, B. A., Eds. Psychologistsâ€™ Desk Reference, 3rd Edition. New York: Oxford University Press. 370-375 The couples therapy treatment utilized in this case utilizes the following conflict-focused principles and policies (Heitler, 1993, Heitler, 2006): One therapist for both individual and couple treatment components keeps both fully informed and intertwined (Heitler, 1990). Susan Heitler, Ph.D., www.TherapyHelp.com and PowerofTwoMarriage.com Susan Heitler, Ph.D. a graduate of Harvard and NYU, specializes in couples therapy in her private practice at Rose Medical Center and blogs for PsychologyToday.com.Â Her multiple publications include From Conflict to Resolution and The Angry Couple video which emphasize the role of conflict resolution in treatment and Power of Two, now the basis for the online marriage skills training program, PowerOFTwoMarriage.com. Â by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. Submitted by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. on October 19, 2011 - 5:24pm.
Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Susan Heitler, Ph.D. Susan Heitler, Ph.D., a graduate of Harvard with a clinical psychology doctorate from NYU, has authored the books From Conflict to Resolution and The Power of Two. Her current pet project is a website, PowerOfTwoMarriage.com, that teaches the skills for sustaining strong and loving relationships. Books by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. by Susan Heitler, Paula Singer by Susan Heitler, Abigail Hirsch by Susan P H. D. Heitler, Susan M. Heitler Reading Matters buy now Depression A Disorder of Power by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. Therapy Help by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. Susan Heitler, Ph.D.'s Links Learn The Skills for Marriage Success Dr. Heitler's Clinical Practice Follow me on Twitter Friend me on Facebook Subscribe to Resolution, Not Conflict Susan Heitler, Ph.D. is available for:
Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Bio of Dr. Heitler Articles by Dr Heitler Therapists' Resources Marriage Education Articles by Dr Heitler Dr. Heitler writes short posts, longer articles, and book chapters on a wide range of topics. Susan Heitler, Ph.D. Susan Heitler, Ph.D. 4500 East 9th Avenue, Suite 660 Denver, CO 80220 303 388-4211 email@example.com The present chapter integrates this knowledge about batterers, best summarized in Dutton's 1995 book The Batterer: A Psychological Profile, with my experience as a clinician specializing in therapy with high conflict couples (Heitler, 1998). Terrorists isolate their victims by turning other nations against the population they are trying to subjugate (Heitler, 2001). Emotional health and marital success both correlate with ability to conduct problem-solving dialogue in which participants quietly verbalize their concerns, seek to understand each other's perspectives, generate options, and conclude with solutions (Heitler, 1993). Ability to take into account others' concerns as well as one's own, a skill I refer to as bilateral listening (Heitler, 1997), is a hallmark of emotional maturity. When a batterer who hears only his own needs has a wife with excessive altruism (or battered woman syndrome), they may form a stable relationship in which both agree that only his needs count. If the wife has strong preferences on a particular issue and does venture to assert her concerns, however, fighting ensues. Heitler, S. (1993). From conflict to resolution. New York: Norton. Heitler, S. (1997). The power of two: Secrets to a strong & loving marriage. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger. Heitler, S. (1998). Treating high-conflict couples. In Psychologists' desk reference, Koocher, G.P., Norcross, J. C., & Hill, S. S. (Eds.). New York: Oxford University Press. Heitler, S. (2001, November 26) U.S., Israel must stand together in battle. Rocky Mountain News, p. 40A. Available: www.actionIsrael.org, Archives, December 2001. TherapyHelp 4500 E. 9th Ave. #660 Denver, CO 80220 Phone:303-388-4211 Email Copyright © 2003-2006 Susan Heitler, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. marriage counseling ... marriage problems ... marriage workshops
Treatment for addictions, eating disorders, anxiety, depression
of Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Susan Heitler, Ph.D. 4500 E. 9th Ave. #660 Denver, Colorado 80220 Phone: 303-388-4211 Fax: 303-388-4214 Email To contact one of the independent mental health professionals in Dr. Heitler's office suite, call Dr. Heitler's secretary at 303 388-4211 or use the therapist's direct number. Dr. Heitler's methods of treatment Read Interview with Dr. Susan Heitler Susan Heitler, Ph.D. and colleagues Dr. Heitler specializes in treatment of anxiety, depression, and marriage difficulties . In her clinical practice as a clinical psychologist in Denver, Colorado, Dr. Heitler has been helping individuals and couples for over twenty-five years. She has written a book, a workbook, and workshops called The Power of Two to help more couples learn the skills that lead to marriage success. And the theory of treatment she presented in her book for therapists, From Conflict to Resolution, has strongly influenced the work of many therapists. Dr. Heitler graduated from Harvard, earned a masters degree in education at Boston University and then a doctorate in psychology from New York University. She and her husband, married over 30 years, have enjoyed raising four children, now young adults with children of their own. Dr. Heitler has lectured on her therapy methods nationwide and abroad, including in Spain, Austria, Lebanon, United Arab Emirates, Israel and Australia. Dr. Heitler is frequently interviewed in magazines such as Fitness, Men's Health, Women's World, and Parenting . Her cases have appeared often in the Ladies Home Journal column "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" In May, 2004 Dr. Heitler appeared on the CBS Early Show where anchor Harry Smith introduced her as "the most influential person in my life-my therapist. Copyright © 2003-2006 Susan Heitler, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. Web site Design and Internet Marketing by WSI