HodgesReport.comConstantly Reporting on TMZ Reporter Max Hodges
When reached for comment, Libya's Prime Minister Baghdadi Mahmudi said "new legislation has indeed been introduced to add the face of Hodges to our otherwise plain green state flag."
TMZ's MAX HODGES emerged victorious again yesterday, presenting more non-news stories than any of his TMZ coworkers.
We asked TMZ staffers for an explanation of why Hodges
almost always gets the most onscreen time.
Here's what some of them had to say:
-Anonymous TMZ Guy #1: "I think it's just his
hair really, and none of the rest of us are known to say things that are quite as stupid as what he
Girl #1: "Because certain people at TMZ think he's
prettier than me and the rest."
-Anonymous TMZ Guy #2: "Max
has no dignity when he's
on camera and doesn't care about (or isn't aware of) how stupid he
-Anonymous TMZ Girl #2: "Probably cause everyone who watches thinks he's
Just watch what natasha henstridge says about TMZ
and you'll know why."
We'll keep you informed as to why Hodges
is featured more than any other delightful TMZ anchor as we learn more.
Yesterday's Story Count:
- MAX HODGES
TMZ's MAX HODGES gives a winning smile to our Asian Investor Representative during the interview process at LTPA.
LTPA's HodgesReport.com recently received an internship application from TMZ superstar reporter, MAX HODGES.
When considering Hodges' résumé, it was immediately clear that he
lacked virtually every qualification for any job whatsoever.
When asked what unique skills could set him apart from other candidates, Hodges
replied "I'm all about Max Hodges all the time...
TMZ's Max Hodges, supported by employer Harvey Levin, makes a case for his financial crisis.
Despite Harvey Levin's recent decision to start paying Hodges
, the star has found himself sinking deeper and deeper into debt.
Seen here posing with fellow rapper 50 Cent, Hodges
achieved some level of notoriety by rapping My Girl in a 2006 American Idol audition.
According to a Fox producer, Hodges' rap rendition of the Motown classic was so vulgar, and his
demeanor so violent, that security was called to high alert for his
carefully worded rejection from the show.
Since then Hodges
has been crafting his
debut masterpiece, HODGEPODGE, to be released later this year.
It seems that in the Land of the Rising Sun men and women, young and old alike, simply can't get enough MAX HODGES
Yesterday afternoon LTPA informants reported that TMZ simpleton MAX HODGES
had filed for a US patent titled "Really long shoelaces".
The patent describes a concept previously unconsidered by shoelace industry.
Hodges' innovation targets the millions of consumers who are unable to use traditional shoelaces because lower back problems preclude them from bending at the waist.
The new laces, which are essentially 14 foot long versions of standard cotton tennis shoe laces, could change the way we think about lacing up our sneakers.
"Really long shoelaces" the user can simply tighten the laces from a standing position because the laces are long enough so that the ends extend to an average persons chest.
Max Hodges Shoe Laces
Additionally, unconfirmed sources tell LTPA
also plans to patent an accessory item that allows users of "Really long shoelaces" to strap the ridiculously long laces to their chest with velcro for easy access.
Taking two days off from his
job as a legitimate news reporter, MAX HODGES
met with top NASA officials to advise them about their MESSENGER spacecraft activity.
MESSENGER, which HODGES
helped launch in 2004, just completed it's second pass by the inner-most planet, Mercury.
"Travel to Mercury means massive velocity change," says Hodges
"that's where I come in.
A craft accelerates so much as it approaches the sun, it needs a way to slow down.
I came up with these gravity assist maneuvers.
In orbital mechanics terminology, it's a gravitational slingshot which saves us tons of fuel, time, and money.
I also hooked NASA
up with this sweet reaction wheel attitude control, which controls the attitude of the craft using star tracking cameras...
I got the idea in Hollywood when I was tracking down a star with my camera.
was on site this weekend analyzing data from MESSENGER's Mercury Laser Altimeter, which allows Max
to correlate high-resolution topography measurements with high-resolution images.
When asked if he
finds science more fulfilling than celebrity news reporting, Hodges
modestly replied "It's not that much different than what I do at TMZ
At Left: Hodges
NASA colleagues with the story of how he
came up with the reaction wheel attitude control (spacecraft attitude controlled by star tracking cameras).
Still no word on if Hodges was serious about wanting to "bury" our web developer.
We think you're great, Hodges!
Three outfits stood out from the rest as being absolutely extraordinary: Chubby Spikey as Chubby Ballcap, Dax Fashion as Brad Pitt, and MAX HODGES
(who we hope isn't planning to assault any of us) as Axl Rose.
From Left: Dax Fashion in a great costume of someone we wish he'd leave alone... but a great costume nonetheless; Chubby Spikey dressed up as Chubby Ballcap... we really love that one, it's absolutely brilliant!; Max Hodges dressed up as the singer for Guns N Roses.
Looks like a million bucks, Hodges
Unrelated to our hopes of avoiding a physical assault by TMZ's
undisputed best reporter, we have awarded MAX HODGES
an honorary Story Count Victory for his
outstanding performance on Friday's Halloween show! (Yay!) Hodges far exceeded our already high expectations, delivering the news we needed to know in a fresh new way.
Great job, Hodges!
We really appreciate the meaningful work you do!
On a different note, we still haven't been told whether Hodges
was joking or not when he
wants to "bury" our web developer.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Halloween Story Count
- MAX HODGES
: 1,000,000 points!!!