On this Thursday night in a Park Cities cafe, Dallas-based relationship expert Laurie Seale
is hosting a singles dinner event she
calls "Eat Your Words," which has drawn men and women ranging in age from 23 to 55, some from as far as Austin. Ms. Seale
has given the group the task of picking 10 of the most desirable traits each single would like to find in a partner out of a list of 54.Some of the 54 traits include passionate, unassuming, loyal, shared interests, industrious, relaxed and adventuresome.
Several singles read aloud their lists and discuss why certain traits are most important to them.Next, it is Ms. Seale's
turn to share her
list with the group.Her
picks are intelligence, values, emotionally generous, chemistry, same goals in life, athletic, creative, self-confident, personal habits and spiritual acceptance.
After reading her
list, Ms. Seale poses questions for the group to reflect on."Have I become everything I value?"she
Here are Laurie Seale's
recommended questions to ask a love interest.
, who often does call-in shows on local radio stations, says her
first book, 500 Questions to Ask Before You Ask Them to Bed (ReganBooks; $21.95), due out this summer, will help singles navigate issues so they are not wasting their time dating the wrong people. She
believes it is best for people to hold off on sex until they know and respect themselves and understand their partner's values."The only way to understand someone's context and to understand what they are capable of giving you is asking questions - a lot of questions - before you go to bed with them," she
Since a vast number of today's singles come from broken homes, they do not have good role models for relationships, Ms. Seale
believes that Hollywood's melodramatic portrayal of sex early in dating relationships has had a negative influence on singles.She
says premature sexual relationships have left a lot of singles disappointed and jaded. Ms. Seale
provides so many questions in her
book in order to give singles a practical tool for really getting to know someone early on in a relationship."The idea is not that you ask so many questions," she
concedes that many people do not agree with her
up-front approach to communication in dating.
Some upcoming appearances by Laurie Seale
"Blind Date," 8 to 10:30 p.m. March 6, Bath House Cultural Center
at White Rock Lake, 521 E. Lawther; $25.Call 214-670- 8749.
has a message that sets her
apart from the other experts on the market - her
emphasis on cultivating good self-esteem first before looking for a compatible match.
The 35-year-old also distinguishes herself from other relationship experts because she
is speaking as someone who has never been married and says she
is living out the dating methods she
"I have been dating for 18 years.I have a plethora of experience.I have dated one of everything - a fireman, an architect, older, younger.I have gone through industries.I [have dated so much] because I enjoy people." Ms. Seale
is unattached and says she
has not found a suitable partner."The last person I dated made it to question No. 353 in my book and said, 'There are easier ways to get sex than this,' and then left," she
then seriously explains that she
just hasn't crossed paths with her
most compatible mate.
"I'm role modeling what I write: Know what you value, become what you value, and don't settle for anything less," she
says."In the meantime, I'm content being single until I find someone who values what I value and defines those values in the same way I do." Ms. Seale
grew up on a cattle ranch 25 miles east of San Antonio in the small town of La Vernia.She
rural upbringing with giving her
joy in helping people."In the country, if the crop gets flooded or the house burns down, everybody pitches in and helps everybody."
Unlike many relationship experts, Ms. Seale
does not have a degree in psychology or counseling.She holds a business degree with an emphasis in marketing from the University of Texas at Austin.Prior to her work with singles, she worked as a marketing strategist for corporations and advertising agencies, interpreting people's emotions and desires and predicting behavior.
"In advertising, creatives always say they specialize in products.They move to different accounts by specializing in a product," she
Since last summer, Ms. Seale
has been heard on local radio.She
is a regular guest on the Morning Edge (102.1 FM), for a call-in segment on relationships.Julie Fisk, co-host of the Morning Edge, says there's never a dull moment when Ms. Seale
is on the air.
"Heated arguments like these are why we love to have Laurie Seale
on the air with us." On top of doing her radio call-in segments, Ms. Seale is the relationship expert for Match.com, the online dating service.Match.com
subscribers and radio listeners know her
as "Six Foot Blonde," the name she
created for herself.This 6-foot blonde with an eccentric style of dress and a blunt, shaggy '70s-style haircut accented by dramatic shades of bleached-blond highlights says she
gave herself a brand name in order to be easily remembered.
"I knew that I had a message of value, and I knew that if I created a brand around myself I could establish market ubiquity, rising above the din of all the people who are saying something," she
answers e-mail questions from all over the world through Match.com
also writes a biweekly column for both websites.Her
columns focus on different dating issues, and she
offers solutions for singles to implement.
Besides "Eat Your Words," Ms. Seale
has created and marketed other events for singles in Dallas.One recent event, "Wine, Women and Insight," brought together singles in a cafe for an evening of wine-tasting and a talk from Ms. Seale
on how to have what she
called, "an intoxicatingly great relationship."
Another event she
has held several times recently is "Opposites Attract."Each single is given a word on a wristband such as "deep" and is given the task of going around the room to find the other single with the opposite word. 'Opposites Attract" has attracted several hundred singles, with a 50-50 male-female participation.
Meanwhile, Ms. Seale
is planning to host more events for singles in Dallas and will continue to field calls on air.
...SOURCE: Laurie Seale