of Columbus, a child therapist for 18 years and founder of Bully-Proofing Youth
, said he
focuses on equipping the victim rather than changing the bully because once a target knows how to "shut down" a bully, the bully becomes powerless.
technique to combat verbal bullies centers on exhibiting body language that conveys a calm, cool attitude and ignores the bully.
For physical bullies, he
recommends kids learn five basic martial arts moves that involve "containing" rather than fighting the bully.
And for social or relational bullies - mostly girls - he
described an elaborate scheme based on friends banding together to keep the bully from tearing them apart with nasty rumors.
Child therapist and Bully-Proofing Youth founder Jim Bisenius of Columbus presents a program to parents and members of the public at Wheeling Country Day School on Wednesday night.
The fact is, Bisenius
said, parents and teachers can do very little on the front lines of bullying because it doesn't happen when they are around.
~ Jim Bisenius
approach, however, gives the kids a game plan that has proven effective among his
has worked with hundreds of victims and bullies so he
knows how the bully's brain ticks.
The No. 1 reaction a bully craves is fear, Bisenius
said, as well as anger.
What the verbal bully loves, he
said, is the "rise" he
gets out of the target.
These moves need to be repeated 1,000 times, Bisenius
said, before the child will be ready to put them to use against a bully.
"It's not fighting," he
has found that once former targets are trained in this way, the bully senses something has changed and may not attack again.
"I haven't had one kid who took more than two months" to shut down their bullies, he