arrested for public urinationDennis Kempton
is a friend of Paul's and fellow columnist for the Reader Weekly
If you ever use the forum on this website, Kempton
is a frequent contributor there as well (username "TheJew").
Local bisexual Dennis Kempton
was arrested Tuesday for urinating from the top of the rotating restaurant atop the Radisson Hotel.
At the time of his
was nude and covered in Crisco, which made him difficult for police to catch.Kempton's friends say the outburst was likely the result of his
hatred of NCAA basketball, which rules the airwaves for the month of March.Overexposure to the sport led Kempton
to overdose on peyote.
Officers finally caught Kempton
by using a stun gun on his
genitalia.No officers were injured.
Read Kempton's response to this news brief. Dennis Kempton
fired for 'flavoring' ice cream
Always a fan of rivalries, I wrote this news brief to respond to Kempton's one about me.It likely won't be printed.Apparently, the Duluth News-Tribune
might get upset if we say one of their reporters gives Bj's
. Reader Weekly columnist Dennis Kempton was fired from his job at an
ice cream parlor Thursday, after he
was caught immersing his
manhood in a tub of strawberry ice cream.When asked if the act was in defiance of the company's policies, Kempton
"I just like sticking my dick in ice cream," said Kempton
, me thinks you are one of those self-hating types.